28 October 2011
Travellers' tales
Just for fun
  1. A seasoned traveller who seems to know everything and makes you feel a bit small.
  2. Someone who pretends to be a seasoned traveller but actually just got all their info out of the Lonely Planet.
  3. A girl who shrieks a lot. She will be sharing your dorm.
  4. A friendly Australian.
  5. Two boys who are magnets for scammers. They go home early when they've run out of money.
  6. The quiet guy who turns out to be really interesting.
  7. An Israeli who has just finished their military service. They do not want to hear your views on the Middle East.
  8. A guy with dreadlocks. You assume he smokes weed. You are right.
  9. An American who says 'awesome' a lot.
  10. Someone you fancy. They do not fancy you.
  11. Someone you fancy, who fancies you, but has a partner back home.
  12. A creepy guy who looks like a serial killer. He is in the bunk underneath yours.
  13. Someone you assume is a local who you then find out is from Birmingham. This makes you feel like a racist.
  14. The borderline alcoholic.
  15. A person who tells you they look like their friend Chris from back home. They insist on calling you Chris. (Your name is not Chris).
  16. Someone who never seems to get flustered, no matter what happens. Usually German.
  17. Two girls travelling together who are best mates. They go their separate ways within a week.
  18. Someone who won't stop talking about their diarrhea.
  19. The bore. He or she is sitting next to you on the longest bus ride of your life.
  20. A man who does not seem to understand that his voice comes with volume control. It doesn't matter where he sits on the bus because you will still be able to hear him.
  21. The loved-up couple. They are polite but distant.
  22. The couple who've been travelling together for a long time. They are so eager to talk to you that you get a bit scared.
  23. The 'are they / aren't they?' couple who met travelling.
  24. Someone who appears to hate you, for no discernable reason.
  25. A girl who packs all her possessions in loud, crackly, plastic bags. She will go to bed late and get up early.
  26. The joker. An absolute hoot or a pain in the bum, depending on your (and his) sense of humour.
  27. Someone young and a bit naive who you worry about.
  28. Someone who complains about everything.
  29. A person who looks a lot like a famous person, who doesn't like being told that they look like the famous person.
  30. The boaster. No matter where you've gone or what you've done, he's done something bigger and better.
  31. A beautiful Spanish person. (Seriously, what is it about that country?)
  32. The person who has gone travelling to 'find himself'. You want to suggest that taking his head out of his behind might be a good start.
  33. The weeper. You never actually see them crying, but they always look like they have been.
  34. A fat girl in unflatteringly skimpy clothes.
  35. The over-friendly person, who seems to think you are best mates 5 hours after you've met.
  36. The flirt. Usually a man. Everyone likes him.
  37. The creep. Thinks he is the flirt. Nobody likes him.
  38. The woman who has gone travelling after a break-up and insists she's happier now. She is lying.
  39. Someone who goes on about being 'authentic'. You find them eating in McDonald's.
  40. Someone with a child-like enthusiasm for everything. The first day it's cute, the second it's mildly annoying, and by the end of the week you want to kill them.
  41. An experienced traveller who not only seems to know what they're doing, but lets you tag along. You like this person a lot.
  42. A person who doesn't wash.
  43. The mute. You try to engage him in conversation, but he just mumbles and stares at the floor.
  44. The freeloader. Always 'borrowing' your stuff and never paying for anything.
  45. Someone who can't go five minutes without Tweeting, updating their Facebook status or checking their email. Their phone gets stolen.
  46. A Kiwi who gets angry about being mistaken for an Australian. (See also 'Canadian' re: USA).
  47. Someone from a country you know nothing about. Conversation stalls.
  48. The klutz. You will be partnered with them on some activity, and will genuinely fear for your safety.
  49. A random person who does something really nice for you for no reason. You don't see them again but you never forget them.

 

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